Shout “Penis!” to Get a Boyfriend: How I Met Mine
I have a Swedish friend who used to tell me indecent Swedish words. One of the words was, of course, penis in Swedish (“kuk”). “The penis” is translated as “kuken”, which I thought sounded like a cute Japanese-like word. I sometimes call him “kuken” and he would call me the counterpart for the ladies, as a joke between ourselves.
One day, I was on the way to the building of the student organisation I am a member of to grab the bike in its attic. While passing, I saw my aforementioned Swedish friend was in the kitchen through the window. Excited seeing him, I ran into the building and into the kitchen. As I entered the kitchen, I shouted “KUKEN!” to greet him cheerfully. I was expecting my friend’s greeting, but instead I was welcomed by a confused-looking man. I was surprised and a bit confused to the sudden disappearance of my friend. I stuttered to find the words to explain why there is a random girl shouting penis at him.
I said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout it to you. I meant to greet [my friend’s name], I call him ‘kuken’ and he calls me ‘fittan’”. He still said nothing and looking even more confused. It is weird to call someone penis and vagina as a nickname indeed, so I get why it was hard for him to grasp. I was exasperated but in an effort to end the torture of confusion and awkwardness, I introduced myself and fled the room. So that’s how I met my current boyfriend.
After that I went to the attic to get the bike I meant to take only to find that the attic was scary. I am a scaredy cat who can’t close the bathroom door for three days after watching a horror movie. So, I went downstairs to fetch human reinforcement to face the doom attic. Unfortunately my kuken friend was busy as he was the head cook today in the kitchen, so I shamelessly asked the guy who I shouted penis at. He was kind enough to help me. When we were getting my bike, I find him playful and that we had a good chemistry. I was interested in him, so I asked my friend whether he is single or not. Fortunately, he was, so I decided to approach him.
I got a sneak peek into the summer pub’s working schedule from my friend. So when I had free time, I came to the organisation on the time where my now-boyfriend was supposed to be working. After a couple of times coming to the organisation with a carefully-thought-out outfits, something I rarely do, there was no sign he wanted to hang out outside the organisation. I thought that I had been obvious, but he might not get it due to my severe lack of ability to flirt. There was also a factor of men being oblivious and then the fact that he is Swedish. In Sweden, contrary to most, it is more socially accepted for women to make the first move. Later I found out that he had no clue what I was doing at all as he was super oblivious when it comes to that.
Despite being the pupil of my signal-and-code-sending-expert girl friends for years, I sucked at it. So I decided to just explicitly ask him out on a date. Not for a coffee, not for a hangout, but for a date. If it is a coffee or a hangout, I have to flirt more in order to get the I’m-interested-in-being-more-than-just-a-friend message across, which is a pain due to extra work and stress. Plus, I thought this might be the last summer I have in Sweden, what the hell, let’s do it. I have never explicitly asked someone out on a date, so scarily and nervously I sent “Would you like to go out with me sometime this summer?” through Facebook messenger, screamed and then threw my phone away into the bed. A week later, we had our first date of dinner and movie. In the end of the first date, I asked him what he wanted from us. Had it been not the same with what I want, I would not continue to see him, fortunately it was the same, to keep seeing each other. Despite what some rule in dating with waiting for the guy to text you first or wait for three days, I texted him right away to tell him I had a great time and such. We met three times more the next days.
In Sweden, just because you date someone, it doesn’t mean that you are automatically exclusive. Thinking that this might be my last summer, I want to spend it only with him and not worrying whether he is seeing other girl as well. So, a week after our first date, after self debate on whether this is too fast, I decided to waste no time and tell him, “I know my status of residency and length of stay in Sweden is quite unclear but I like you and I only want to see you, only you and no one else.” He agreed and ever since then we gradually grew our relationship into a healthy, happy and committed one, a first for both of us.
In conclusion, just shout penis randomly — hopefully the guy you’re shouting at will be your lover. Well, I wish it was that easy. But it wasn’t. It was series of steps of which courage I’ve garnered from my journey. I know what I want from a man, from a relationship, after many bitter yet full of lesson experiences.
